There is no coincidence. Look! The blog is reopening today.
08/08/2026. I woke up at 08.08 am, napping after my first sitting meditation time. Seeing the numbers, I thought, “Perfect timing for reopening the website!”
I am reopening that website after two years with no clear idea in mind what to do with it. I just would like to offer a space to the readers out of social media, where the attention is not converted into cash, where it is less caught and traced, and where you can come back unhindered without having to log in and without having to show your face. This is a place to speak about enlightenment and the way to it, about suffering and the end of it by means of establishing virtue, training in concentration, and developing wisdom (sila/samadhi/panna). I’ll probably talk in more detail about the Dhamma than I do on my Facebook posts.
What has happened during those two years? What could be of interest for you to know? The first thing is that I started teaching the Dhamma. The result can be found on the YouTube channel. I put all recordings of our meetings there: guided practices, instructions, and sutta commenting. They are mostly raw data. I edit them and cut parts only to guarantee the anonymity of the participants. I never prepare any talk due to lack of time and to keep the oral tradition alive. Therefore, it is what it is, which means it is improvised. For those desiring a precise bullet-list type of theoretical talk, and traditional lineage-approved teachings, please refer to your favorite Venerable monk or nun. I only talk about what I have directly known from direct experience. You can’t teach what you don’t know, and I’m not talking about intellectual knowledge. I’m talking about insight knowledge stemming from meditative processes. I apologize for bad English grammar. I don’t want to use AI for corrections. If anyone is willing to help me with language corrections, I would appreciate it very much.
The second thing is the change of lineage from Anagami to Arahant. I thought several times in those past two years that I had made it through arahantship, whereas there were still signs that the mind was not completely liberated. Please let me know if you would like me to talk about the difference between the third stage of enlightenment and the fourth one. A couple of months ago, when the last path moment came, it was accompanied by the clear knowledge that “it was it.” This is what made it quite distinct from normal fruition. It was the automatic thought generated just after it happened that makes you know that it is over. You know… This classic declaration of full enlightenment found in many suttas of the Pali Canon, which says, «Birth is destroyed, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, and there is no more coming to any state of being» (see MN7 for example). Well, it wasn’t phrased like that in my mind, but the clear knowing that the work had been done and that there would be no further rebirth was amazingly clear. So clear that I thought it was a joke, that my mind had made it up. But subsequently, another process I didn’t force or make up occurred: the review of what has been cut off in terms of mental processes. The change was radical. I could clearly discern that a whole series of mind moments were cut off and were no longer arising in the mind-moment series. It felt as if you were listening to your favorite song, the one you know by heart, and when you expected the next set of lyrics, instead, it was silenced. It is the same feeling as when you come back to a familiar place after a long time and buildings or houses have been demolished. It feels as if the forest path you have been walking daily is found the next day closed, and the tall trees bordering it have been cut off. You find in place of your favorite well-known path a totally new and foreign terrain. Another simile would be the following: imagine someone throws a ball at you. Before full enlightenment, you would have caught it. Now, the ball hits your belly and falls off, and you look at it, surprised that your arms haven’t moved a millimeter, not because you have decided to stay immobile, not because you are paralyzed, but just because it is no longer done as if catching a ball were something you had never learned. A second trial wouldn’t change anything; the ball is thrown at you, you see it coming, and yet, you don’t catch it no matter where it is going to hit you. It keeps bouncing off your body, eventually leaving pain. Still, there was no catch. You know what was asked from you. You know that in the past, you would have caught it, but catching is no longer happening, not because you have decided it but because it is just not happening. This last part is difficult to describe.
To be honest with you, I couldn’t believe it. I was very careful about ascertaining anything and still am, so I patiently checked over and over again, but this direct experiential and radical change is so strong that it is difficult to doubt. Another sign that it is/might be genuine is that I was surprised by the final result since it was NOT as I imagined it to be and, most importantly, not how I wished it to be. Indeed, I realized afterwards that I wished it to be like a permanent state of peace of mind, something permanently blissful where pain is not felt, something that doesn’t change and is super rock-stable. The peace of mind is there but expresses itself very differently, not as what you expect it to be from the lens of the delusional mind. You know you can’t get any permanence. Only Parinibbana will bring the stilling of all. I would say that now that I am on the other shore, to use a canonical expression, I understand very clearly why half of the fetters are only removed at the last stage. The desire for existence has to be scrutinized with wisdom and all subtle aspects. This was the last target of scrutiny in Vipassana.
I went through the old blog posts written in 2023 and 2024 which are stored here, and I could clearly see in them the last veil of ignorance and the influence of the Hindu spiritual school I was involved in at that time. Over the past eight years of walking the path to enlightenment, I have kept handwritten insights, thoughts, and key points regarding the practice. It now makes a total of 15 small book notes. From time to time, I browse through them. I can easily jump from one year to the next or several years backward. I have documented every single day of vipassana and jhana practice. All insights are marks on the paper; all path moments and breakthroughs are highlighted. There is a map. Pitfalls are circled. I added annotations during those time travels once insights were deeper and integrated, when understanding was more developed.
In the past posts left behind here, while reading them recently, I could clearly see behind the words the last subtle grasping to something defined as formless, substanceless, and unmoving (which makes it eternal!), and that would make the background of that reality. This was a very subtle trap for the mind, the last branch to hold onto before the big jump that would lead to the eradication of the last bit of illusion.
That was funny to see where the desire to exist hides, either as immaterial, eternal, pure awareness or as boundless love or as “what is.” Anything that can be brought to mind would work. Being pure consciousness, pure love, pure awareness, or just «being». Similarly, any remnant nothingness would be enough to hold onto. Then, one could still declare that one is «that empty nothing”. The formless character of it makes it less noticeable. It makes it sneaky, yet it is still a last bastion of clinging. It is sneaky since it sounds much more spiritually acceptable due to its formlessness, disguised under unconditional love or pure awareness. This was the last invisible trap. This is when the time had come to look at the deepest unconscious desire for existence, and this is what makes the difference between the third and the fourth stages of enlightenment (anagami and arahant).
The Buddha’s teachings tell us that the origin of suffering is threefold. Suffering comes from craving sensual pleasures, craving existence, and craving non-existence.
I didn’t realize that I left untouched this craving for existence until navigating towards the last stage of enlightenment. Also, one has to look carefully at its counterpart: the craving for nonexistence. It can express itself as a desire to no longer exist in order to no longer feel any pain, any suffering. Craving for existence dances with eternalism, and craving for non-existence with annihilationism.
When one has seen by direct knowledge and therefore understood why Nibbana is ultimate peace, one no longer seeks anywhere to be reborn. One understands why over the 10 fetters, half of them are only broken at the last stage, which is arahantship, full enlightenment.
The blog is reopened. The tone is set. One can discuss all aspects of the dhamma. Vipassana and samadhi practices. You can ask any question. I would be glad to get in touch with you to talk about the Dhamma. I offer one-on-one guidance regarding meditation and dhamma at every levels and you can subscribe to get the new posts in your email box by entering your email address below and hit the green button.
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